To my left, there's four college textbooks stacked high. Behind it, a Patternmaking for Fashion Design: 4th Edition. To my right, a clock ... and it's late. Behind me, new clothes straight from China (possibly poor quality), a sewing machine, and a picture of me graduating pre-school.
Now, what does all this have to do with staying motivated? Here's the thing. Right now I should be studying. I should be reading a chapter, learning the necessary facts to pass my test tomorrow, or something. Instead, I'm too busy day dreaming because I'd rather be right here typing away my thoughts. Shall we begin....
Gosh I can't tell you how often the importance of college is reiterated to me. "Without a degree I won't get far" .... "Those skills you're learning will be useful later" ... "Everybody needs to have a degree to get a job" BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH YADDA YADDA BLAH.
*deep sigh* I'm so fed up with this crap. I don't know, maybe this is just that 3rd-year-in-college itch most of us feel, that feeling of wanting to just drop it all and go pursue 'my dream' ... right? I have not a clue. All I know is that in the last week, I have said the phrase "college is so inconvenient" at least 6 times. But nevermind my depressing rant, lol. This post is actually about something.
After getting off the phone and having an eye opening conversation with my momma, I've realized several things:
(1) dammit, i need to stop throwing this pity party.
(2) basically every other college student will be dead broke after graduation too.
(3) I need to stop wasting time complaining, and start doing something about it.
My biggest struggle since starting college has been committing to getting involved in an organization. Freshmen year I didn't see it as a big deal, I just viewed it as a way people make friends. So I would attend a meeting here and there, only to later gave it up, and then find other personal hobbies instead ... aha. Moving on ... I am now (in my junior year) realizing the true significance of joining an organization. It's not about the people you meet, although that is nice, but it's about the experience you have.
Now if you rewind a couple of posts, then you know for a fact that I associate with the "socially awkward" title. But something my mom made me realize was that the socially awkward are often the most original-minded people, AND that I am only as socially awkward as I think I am. If for one second I would stop spending time thinking about it, then I could let the real me show through... including my beautiful awkwardness and all.
So what stops me from being motivated? what stops me from joining an organization? my issue is my doubt. I don't ever want to be viewed as inadequate. Which is so strange because in privacy I am so confident in my abilities. I outline plans, come up with concepts, brainstorm and create ideas. But, In crowds, I speak up only when I am absolutely, 100% sure that my idea will be accepted.
"Success is all in the risk" ... I just came up with that myself, by the way.
Perhaps thats the key... i need to be willing to take the risk. I need to be willing to feel uncomfortable. I have to work myself out of this shell and into the vast ocean (using sea analogies here because my zodiac is Cancer) because the experiences out there are endless.
I don't want to be afraid to do what I want anymore. I am confident...
newbies & stuff
So recently made some new unnecessary purchases... This always happens by accident.
New sandals... My previous black/gold ones were so perfect, I wore them until the straps began to fall apart. lol... So these were actually needed.
Ahh Burgundy Velvet *lusty face* ... im obsessed with this color and fabric.
New printed socks.
I've been wanting to add a pop of something to this area. The flowers were the perfect touch. I'm not much of a florist but I think I did pretty decent with my choices.
A vase and some tiny rocks made for the perfect brush holder.
The reason for the new socks ;-)
Check out my haul video including these boots here
flexin on these heauxs
Top: Ebay
Shorts: Thrift
Shoes: Converse
For some reason I have this weird obsession with raising an arm in my pictures. I just think "getting angular" is kinda cool... Lol, anyway... i forgot to share this outfit. Check out my instagram for more:
@LittleCourt_
videos i've been loving
Tips for grinding and getting what you want in life, advice straight from the pros. #BeShameless
And if you're looking to laugh until your stomach hurts ... meet Alphacat
Miley Cyrus in review :: shakes head ::
Watch this first ..
Okay, so there's about a billion and one things i could say about this video. But let's keep it simple... Miley made quite a decent song here, a good song actually. Problem is... her emotional and mental troubles that she's dealing with are beginning to affect her career. --- simply but, the chick is trippin and soon its gonna start messing with her money.
Who takes a "heartbreak" song, and then ruins it with gaudy sexploitation? How badly do you need people to think you're sexy. We get it miley, you're struggling with something. But dang girl, you're handling it all wrong.
Girls out there that are possibly reading this, let me just say.. I do not think Miley Cyrus is a bad person, (woman, girl or whatever) at all. Like many young women, she's dealing with something that she's too embarrassed to talk about. If there's any advice I can give from her situation, it's don't let anyone change you. Stay true to yourself even during the toughest times. Allowing obstacles to overcome you can be deadly. In Miley's case, her obstacle is killing her career.
New York Fashion Week, Spring 2014 RTW
Okay so I've been obsessing over everything New York Fashion Week. I have to admit I was let down by a few of my favorite designers *ahem Prabal Gurung ahem*. However, for the most part I've stumbled across some that have truly caught my eye. I forgot to include one of my favorites, Rodarte. I love their creativity but their ready-to-wear for the upcoming season just wasn't my cup of tea.
Diane von Furstenberg
L.A.M.B.
Tracy Reese
Socially Awkward
Yep here's another thought-filled post.
It's funny how I can express the things I'm thinking better in writing than in speaking. But anywayyy, college is back in session and I'm already starting to experience a bit of social anxiety.
I honestly have not the slightest clue why.. Well.. Yeah I do know why. I just don't wanna write it. my problem is that I tend to over evaluate EVERY SITUATION EVER . Can u imagine how annoying that can get for my brain?
Like for real, I'm constantly thinking about thinking. And worrying about what others are thinking and worrying about. Who the heck does that ?! I'm not normal, I've come to realize that, but boy do I fake it well.
"Fake." The word I despise most and yet I can be an active version of it. not to say I'm the type to talk about someone the moment they turn around. That has never been me. But I do put on a facade, like play a role or whatever. But I'm working on it, tryna show people the real Courtney.
I must say I really enjoy having this blog. It's almost like I can come here and express a real version of me. Like the piece of me people don't see when I smile and say hey. To those who read it, I appreciate u more than anything. Because even thought you'll probably never say it to me .. You now know just a little bit more about me.
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