OOTD | Las Flores






i'm becoming obsessed with speaking spanish. i've been calling myself half-bilingual.
some of my favorite expressions are No me lo escuchen/No quiero saber ("i don't want to hear it"/"I dont want to know"), Ahh terremoto! ("Ahh earthquake!"), and Que? ("What?"). We've been learning commands and things about the earth... lol, yeah anyway. The semester is almost over with!

Top: H&M
Jacket: Ross
Pants: Levi's
Shoes: Steve Madden
Bag: H&M

currently listening

The 20/20 Experience - Justin Timberlake
R&B has returned. I've missed him since future sex/love sounds. in fact I went ahead and downloaded FS/LS all over again, lol. but nonetheless, good, sensual music here. i've been playing this whole album on repeat.

Favorite tracks:
(1) Pusher Love Girl
(3) Don't Hold The Wall
(5) Tunnel Vision
(10) Blue Ocean Floor
(11) Dress On

Section.80 - Kendrick Lamar
A little dated, but for those who thought K.dot didn't exist before good kid, m.a.a.d city.. here's his last piece of work before that album. Honestly this entire project goes in. I really do love every track but some of my consistent go-to songs are below... Kendrick, ahh <3

Favorite tracks:
(3) A.D.H.D.
(4) No Make-Up (Her Vice)
(5) Tammy's Song (Her Evils)
(7) Ronald Reagan Era
(9) The Spiteful Chant
(12) Rigamortus
(14) Blow My High (Members Only)

FEAR

those four little letters can be so intimidating.

How do we conquer fear? Eliminating fear is a simple task if for one second we could stop being so afraid to do it. To face our fears head-on means going to some dirty and ugly places. Places we're absolutely terrified of. Places we'd rather hide or run from. Places we'd rather die before visiting (... yeah that was a little dark, i apologize).

Running --- literally means to move quickly, and figuratively means to move quickly away.
I've been running for years. So afraid to admit everything I am ashamed of, so afraid to admit all the wrong I've done, all the hurt I've caused, so afraid to forgive those who hurt me. So afraid to just take responsibility for my life.

How sad huh? It's true tho.
but I'm human, ok. So yes there's alot I fear. A lot of things that make life so ... scary.
But what I can say.. the advice I am trying to share tonight is don't be afraid anymore. Even though I have off days when my mood will be down, I constantly remind myself that fear is very easy to eliminate - and the more i believe it the more true it becomes.

I have a poster in my room. It says DEALING WITH IT and has ten steps to get over what ever it is holding you back from your life. and it reads...

1) Tell the Truth

Well that's nice, but how many of us really can say we always tell the truth? If I said telling the truth is easy, I'd be lying. Sometimes it's just easier to lie.

2) Face life openly

Whatever you avoid will imprison you. Be willing to try new things and open up even when you least expect it. amazing things happen when you never expect them to.

3) Say what you mean, feel, believe

This plays into being honest. Don't hold back. Be true to you and your thoughts. No matter how crazy or ridiculous they may seem. That's YOU isn't it?

4) Accept yourself as you are

We are made on purpose. never forget that.

5) Accept others the way they are

Careful when you begin to judge others (i'm guilty too). Because as harshly as we judge others will be as harshly as we will be judged.

6) Know and accept your weaknesses

This is a tough one for me. Admitting where I lack... i don't know, maybe it's pride or something. but i need to become more in-tune with my weaknesses for sure.

7) Stop trying to prove yourself

I love this one. we seek the acceptance of others and it's also what kills us. I once read that those who follow the crowd often get lost in it. go back to number 4..  we have to know who we are.

8) Let go of the past

PREACH. can't tell you how long I have meditated on this one. I mean seriously. prayers, therapy, books, I've done it all and I still struggle with it. But slowly I am releasing myself from the past every day.

9) Give up false expectations

in every situation we should remind ourselves: expectations VS reality. don't set yourself up for failure, realize when things are either too good to be true and/or too bad to be bothered with. Know what's in your reach and what isn't. To the ambitious ones like myself, recognize when your ambitions become pure fantasy.

10) Take responsibility for your life and how it turned out so far.

What you are willing to take responsibility for will free you. I have to remind myself that we are all humans and we all make mistakes. we all fall short and we all have to learn how to pick ourselves back up. When i struggle, I always find a safe place with my Mother. She knows more than me and always knows how to realign me. I thank God for her every waking moment.


Ok, i've released my thoughts for tonight.
Love,
Courtney

outfit of last day/night





Top: Ross (shop for less tho :])
Shorts: Forever21
Shoes: WetSeal
Necklace/Earrings: i don't remember

the Red Bull crash.

I busted my butttt at work today. Oh my, like.. seriously. I worked a 10 hour shift and had to train a new employee & halfway through the shift my Red Bull wings must have fell off because I straight crashed. I mean the new employee literally said I had bags under my eyes. smh. Today was a hard working day fa'real.

But on a side note, "She got her own" by Jamie Foxx was my anthem riding home. Lol

Carry on ;-)
Courtney

artwork on campus










Spring/Summer Trends

With spring arriving and summer steadily approaching, I have come across several designers who knew exactly where this season's trends were going. From bright colors/matching prints to black and white juxtapositions, it's looking like this sunny season is going to be on both ends of the spectrum. I must admit Marc by Marc Jacobs is killing me right now (in a great way), I can't take it.

Elie Saab



Marc By Marc Jacobs



Balenciaga


Louis Vuitton



Photo credit:
Style.com

recent purchases





Peplum Shirts: Pacsun
Blue Pants: Pacsun
Pink Pants: H&M
Earrings: H&M

I just realized I already own hot pink pants like these >_< crap.

And while we're on the love topic ...





This video has a deeper meaning than the fact that Macklemore supports same-sex marriage. I'm truly analyzing this video, trying to understand his messages (I'll have to get back to y'all with my findings). But on other parts.. he does address spirituality and rules made by society. While it may come uncomfortable to some it does have real meaning behind it.

Furthermore, yes, I am a Christian. But understanding this is something I'm truly working on. I have homosexual loved ones so it's really difficult for me to .. y'know understand the Bible's stance on this.

That crazy thing ...

Isn't it funny how humans can deny the existence of any event or circumstance? More specifically ... isn't is strange how easily we can lie to ourselves? Denial is one of the most common defense mechanisms we use. And we use it everyday.

Today I saw someone I used to love. And with a head nod and a peace sign we acknowledged a memory we once shared. As quickly as the memory came, it left. And in an instant, our pasts passed each other. Nothing else said, no emotions exchanged. Nothing. Not even a smile.

Isn't that little love thing crazy. To know at one point your soul can be so intertwined with someone and at another point ... the two of you are strangers. To be able to deny that something ever existed between the two of you. Because somehow, you've become two very different people than who you used to be.

That's life, I suppose. We change and mature and understand things our minds couldn't comprehend before. But with this new knowledge comes an understanding. With other recent events, I now understand that people change. I used to deny it ... but people really, REALLY do change.

But if there's any advice to come out of this: it's that people come in your life for a reason and a season. That's something my mom always says, and it's true. Once you understand that everybody that you meet in life is not there to stay, then it's much easier to deal with losses, and breakups, and bad friendships. Accept that these things HAPPEN, and they happen often. Keep moving on... :)

Videos currently in editing!


Ballin' on a budget ;-)
I went shopping today, straight sales racks tho. I feel accomplished and I'll post my purchases soon. This is my look for today. And although its not on trend for spring, I'm still obsessing over everything military influenced. That's just my style. In my eyes, camo will forever be on trend. 

Top: Abercrombie & Fitch
Bottoms: Thrifted
Socks: Forever21
Boots: Forever21
Jacket: Forever21

Thrifting updates


I really did want to shoot a video on this thrift haul. Maybe I still will, but for now here's my most recents. You've probably seen some of these pop up already.

Kendrick Lamar

 Ahh, My Love


 

Luxe Mode Fashion Style Off | Photos
















This entire experience was one for me to remember. Being that this was my first time ever publicly styling and modeling my own looks, I can't even explain the amount of nerves I had to deal with. Only moments before every round my palms would begin to sweat and I would become so anxious I couldn't take it. But when they announced my name, I'd take a deep breath and immediately transform into some alter-ego Me and channel some fierce being inside. I laid it all out on that runway. And although I did not win the competition, I was blessed with being placed in the Top 5 and awarded the superlative of Most Spirited. That's enough said in my book.

Competition Credit